The nicest thing you can do is be mean

It's Wednesday, January 29th, and today we're talking about why being "mean" might be your kindest business move.

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I'm sitting at Logan Airport gate B19, watching what can only be described as adult regression in action.

Despite the clearly displayed boarding groups, despite the fact that we're nowhere near departure time, despite the gate agent's polite requests—a crowd has formed. They're pressed against each other like teenagers at a concert, except instead of waiting for Harry Styles, they're waiting to board a plane to Detroit.

When the gate agent announces "we're now boarding Group 1," approximately twelve Group 4 passengers rush forward.

And the gate agent... lets them.

I get it. Who wants to be the bad guy? Who wants to turn someone away and deal with their huffing and puffing? It's easier to just let it slide.

But here's what actually happened: by trying to be "nice" to these line-cutters, the agent created a worse experience for everyone who followed the rules. The overhead bins filled up with bags from the back of the plane. The aisle got clogged. The boarding time dragged on.

This is a perfect example of why we need what I'm calling B2M2N: Business to Mean to Nice.

Instead of B2B or B2C, this is about being willing to be "mean" to a few in order to be nice to many. It's about understanding that by avoiding conflict with the wrong people, you're actually creating conflict for the right ones.

I see this everywhere:

• People blasting TikTok videos in restaurants while staff awkwardly pretend not to notice (I want to cuss so hard right now)
• Coworking spaces that let one loud person dominate common areas
• Even my cancer center, where someone recently watched an entire episode of The Bear at full volume in the waiting room (great show, wrong venue)

The problem isn't just the behavior—it's that businesses have convinced themselves that they play no part in setting boundaries. 

But let's be clear about what "mean" actually means in this context:

• Having clear policies and actually enforcing them
• Being willing to lose customers who don't respect your environment
• Protecting the experience you've promised to deliver
• Standing firm when someone tries to bend the rules

It's not:

• Being rude or hostile
• Creating arbitrary rules
• Power tripping
• Being inflexible in genuine emergencies

Some folks are doing it right:

Threes Brewing (Brooklyn) faced backlash but stood firm on their no-children-after-8pm policy to maintain their evening atmosphere for adult patrons.

Equinox launched a "We Don't Speak January" policy, refusing to sign new members on Jan 1st. While most gyms chase New Year's resolution crowds, they explicitly protect their regular members' experience during the busiest month.

Snowbird Ski Resort in Utah ran an entire campaign around their one-star reviews, proudly showcasing complaints about their slopes being "too difficult." Their tagline: "One-star reviews from people who don't belong here."

You're not avoiding conflict—you're just choosing who to conflict with. And unfortunately, you're often choosing to conflict with your best customers.

Think about it:

• The customer who makes a reservation and shows up on time is punished by having to wait for the walk-in who threw a fit
• The coworking member who booked a phone booth gets displaced by the person who "just needs it for five minutes"
• The airline passenger who paid for priority boarding gets squeezed out by gate lice

It's actually terrible business.

Because while you might avoid one awkward conversation by letting that guy blast Tiktok videos, you're likely losing the lifetime value of several customers who will quietly decide this isn't their scene.

The math is simple: Lose one loud, problematic customer = One angry review Lose several quiet, ideal customers = Thousands in lifetime value you'll never even know you missed

So how do you implement B2M2N without turning into a tyrant?

1. Get crystal clear on your non-negotiables What makes or breaks the experience you're trying to create? What behaviors actively detract from it? Write these down.
2. Create clear, visible policies Don't make your staff create rules on the fly. Have clear policies and post them where everyone can see them.
3. Train your team on enforcement Give them the language, the backing, and the confidence to enforce policies consistently.
4. Be willing to lose customers Yes, some people will get mad. Yes, some will leave bad reviews. But remember: those reviews are actually advertisements to your ideal customers.
5. Keep your finger on the pulse of your culture. If you talk to customers, they'll talk back and allow you to play offense.

When someone writes "1 star - they wouldn't let me play my music without headphones," your ideal customer reads "5 stars - they protect the atmosphere."

I dream of a world where more businesses are willing to be "mean":

• Restaurants that say "we don't split checks more than 4 ways, here's why..."
• Coworking spaces that enforce "no speaker phone calls in common areas"
• Airlines that actually make Group 6 wait their turn

Because here's the truth: being "nice" to everyone means being truly nice to no one.

And if you're not willing to be "mean" to protect what you're building, you might want to ask yourself what you're building in the first place.

Onward,

April